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圣誕節(jié)中英文雙語(yǔ)笑話故事（精選5篇）
一則則有趣的笑話總能讓我們?nèi)炭〔唤謴?fù)喜悅的情緒，你聽(tīng)過(guò)什么有意思的笑話故事嗎？以下小編整理了一些有趣的笑話故事，希望大家閱讀后感到歡愉。
圣誕節(jié)中英文雙語(yǔ)笑話故事 篇1
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一個(gè)城市里的游客來(lái)到一個(gè)小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開(kāi)著車，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過(guò)日子。這位城里人看見(jiàn)一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹(shù)上的'蘋果。城里人對(duì)農(nóng)夫說(shuō)，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫回答說(shuō)，"時(shí)間對(duì)豬有什么意義?"
圣誕節(jié)中英文雙語(yǔ)笑話故事 篇2
A Useful Lesson
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar．
Mr． Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young． Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday， Mr．Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time．They drank for half an hour， and then Mr．Thompson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you a useful lesson．You must always be careful not to drink too much． And how do you know when youve had enough？ Well， Ill tell you．Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar？ When they seem to have become four，youve had enough and should go home．”
“But， Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar．”
有益的教訓(xùn)
在英國(guó)，十八歲以下的.人不準(zhǔn)進(jìn)酒吧喝酒。
湯普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一個(gè)酒吧喝酒，但他從陶寶網(wǎng)來(lái)不帶他的兒子湯姆去，因?yàn)樗昙o(jì)太小。后來(lái)，當(dāng)湯姆年滿十八歲的時(shí)候，湯普森先生第一次帶他去他常去的那家酒吧。他們喝了半個(gè)小時(shí)，而后，湯普森先生對(duì)他兒子說(shuō)：“湯姆，現(xiàn)在我要告訴你一個(gè)有益的教訓(xùn)。你必須時(shí)時(shí)小心不要喝得太多。你怎么知道你喝夠了呢？好，我來(lái)告訴你。你看見(jiàn)酒吧那頭有兩盞燈嗎？當(dāng)那兩盞燈看起來(lái)變成四盞的時(shí)候，你就喝夠了，應(yīng)該回家了。
“可是，爸爸�！睖氛f(shuō)：“在酒吧那頭我只能看見(jiàn)一盞燈�！�
圣誕節(jié)中英文雙語(yǔ)笑話故事 篇3
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，找中間那個(gè)門，然后用你的'胳膊肘按門鈴。門開(kāi)了之后，再用你的腳把門推開(kāi)�！�
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?"
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。
圣誕節(jié)中英文雙語(yǔ)笑話故事 篇4
A wealthy matron（主婦，保姆） is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric（古怪的） woman.
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
Years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. ″Dad,″ says the son, ″theres something Ive got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?″
″Son,″ the father replies, ″I painted the vase.″
一位富婆為擁有一只珍貴的古玩花瓶而深感驕傲,以至于竟要把臥室漆成與花瓶同樣的顏色。幾名油漆匠試圖調(diào)出這個(gè)底色,但是誰(shuí)也不能令那位古怪的婦女滿意。
最后來(lái)了位油漆匠。他非常自信能調(diào)出那種顏色。那位富婆對(duì)他的'成果非常滿意,油漆匠于是一舉成名。
多年以后,他退休了,生意也交給了兒子�！鞍职�,”兒子說(shuō)：“有件事我得弄清楚,您是怎樣使墻的顏色與花瓶配得那么完美的？”
“兒子,”父親回答說(shuō)：“我漆了花瓶�！�
圣誕節(jié)中英文雙語(yǔ)笑話故事 篇5
A man walked into a doctors examining room.
"Put out your tongue," the doctor said.
The man put out his tongue and the doctor said.
"O.K. You can put your tongue back now. " the doctor said. "Its clear whats wrong with you. You need more exercise."
"But, doctor," the man said. "I dont think--"
"Dont tell I me what you think, " the doctor said "I am the doctor, not you. I know what you need. I see hundreds of people like you. None of them get any exercise. They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening. What you need is to walk quickly for at least 20 minutes a day."
"Doctor, you dont understand," the patient said "I -- "
"I dont want to hear any excuses," the doctor said. "You must find time for exercise. If you dont, you will get fat and have health problems when you are older."
"But I walk every day," the patient said.
"Oh, yes, and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet to the train station from your house, a few more feet from the station to your office, and a few more feet from your office to a restaurant for lunch and back. Thats not real walking. Im talking about a walk in the park for twenty minutes every day. "
"Please listen to me, doctor！" the patient shouted, getting angry with this doctor who thought he knew everything.
"Im a mailman," the patient went on, "and I walk for seven hours every day."
For a moment the doctor was silent, then he said quietly, "Put your tongue out again, will you?"
一人走進(jìn)一家診所。
“伸出舌頭，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)。
那人伸出舌頭，醫(yī)生很快地看了一下。
“好了，把舌頭縮回去吧�！贬t(yī)生說(shuō)，“你的病因很明顯。你需要更多的運(yùn)動(dòng)�！�
“但是，醫(yī)生，”那人說(shuō)，“我不認(rèn)為——”
“不要告訴我你認(rèn)為怎么樣，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“我是醫(yī)生，不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看過(guò)數(shù)以百計(jì)的`你這樣的病人。他們沒(méi)有一個(gè)人鍛煉過(guò)。他們整天坐在辦公室里，晚上就坐在電視機(jī)前。你所需要的是每天至少快跑20分鐘。”
“醫(yī)生，你不知道，”病人說(shuō)，“我——”
“我不想聽(tīng)任何理由�！贬t(yī)生說(shuō)，“你應(yīng)該抽出時(shí)間來(lái)運(yùn)動(dòng)。如果你不鍛煉，那么當(dāng)你老的時(shí)候，你就會(huì)變得很胖，并且有健康問(wèn)題�！�
“但我每天都走路的，”病人說(shuō)。
“喔，是的。我知道那是一種怎樣的散步。你走幾英尺的路，從家到火車站，又走幾英尺從車站到辦公室，然后走幾英尺從辦公室到餐館去吃中飯?jiān)倩貋?lái)。那不是真正的散步。我所說(shuō)的是每天在公園里散步20分鐘。”
“請(qǐng)聽(tīng)我說(shuō)，醫(yī)生！”病人叫起來(lái)，對(duì)那位自以為什么都知道的醫(yī)生很生氣。
“我是一名郵遞員，”病人接著說(shuō)，“我每天得走7小時(shí)的路�！�
醫(yī)生悶在那里半天無(wú)語(yǔ)。然后他輕聲地說(shuō)：“再把你的舌頭伸出來(lái)，行嗎？”
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