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alt="答自己?jiǎn)柛叨䲠⑹伦魑?/></p><p>　　我似乎習(xí)慣了接受遺憾。當(dāng)我站在操場(chǎng)邊，看著跑道上的同學(xué)們仰著頭跑向遠(yuǎn)方，不曾回頭，離我越來(lái)越遠(yuǎn)的時(shí)候，我似乎找到了一個(gè)可以形容自己現(xiàn)在處境的畫面。這個(gè)畫面里的一切似乎對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)都極具嘲諷性，他們跑向了自己的未來(lái)，那個(gè)充滿了光明的未來(lái)。他們未來(lái)的一切、他們可以得到的一切似乎早就已經(jīng)被安排好，他們背后似乎有著一股無(wú)形的風(fēng)推著他們，他們只需要輕輕的一抬腳就可以邁出好遠(yuǎn)�？傆腥丝梢暂p易做到我努力了好久都做不到的事。人生舞臺(tái)上他們站在舞臺(tái)的中央，未來(lái)的光剛好只屬于他們。</p><p>　　當(dāng)然，我不再這些人之內(nèi)疚。</p><p>　　我是看著他們漸行漸遠(yuǎn)想要追、想要開口、想要抬腿卻被冷風(fēng)壓回的那個(gè)可笑角色，我是站在原地，看不清未來(lái)的那個(gè)卑微人物。我是站在舞臺(tái)角落，淹沒(méi)在黑暗中的那個(gè)無(wú)聞配角。。</p><p>　　握著曾經(jīng)同學(xué)發(fā)給我的照片，照片里的他一臉陽(yáng)光，他曬黑了、高了。他身邊一群我連名字都記不住的外國(guó)人。他身邊的一切對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)都是另一個(gè)完全不同的世界。</p><p>　　他畢業(yè)以后沒(méi)有留在國(guó)內(nèi)，去了國(guó)外留學(xué)，從此屏幕上傳來(lái)的短短文字和照片變成了我們唯一的聯(lián)系。</p><p>　　現(xiàn)在，我站在他們家曾經(jīng)的房子旁邊，看著我們?cè)?jīng)的畫面。只有我還在走著我們?cè)?jīng)一起走過(guò)的路，只有我還在過(guò)著那一成不變的生活，只有我還沒(méi)有走出這個(gè)狹小的世界。</p><p>　　我們的人生軌跡曾經(jīng)重合，現(xiàn)在卻又變得天差地別。</p><p>　　當(dāng)然，他是天，我是地，再繼續(xù)形容的話，那我就是落在了地上的沼澤，拼命掙扎也只有往下陷。</p><p>　　我有太多的疑問(wèn)想要問(wèn)自己，問(wèn)很多人。我是不是只能停在原地？我是不是除了多愁善感地回憶和不且實(shí)際的幻想以外什么都做不了？我想知道答案，可是卻又說(shuō)不出口，到最后，所有的疑問(wèn)都變成了一句哀嘆，或許到最后的最后，所有的疑問(wèn)也都變成一句認(rèn)命了吧。</p><p>　　凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)。</p><p>　　爸媽都已經(jīng)睡了，我獨(dú)自窩在沙發(fā)里，翻著網(wǎng)頁(yè)，一片漆黑的房間，只有手機(jī)的屏幕的光芒打在了我臉上。</p><p>　　看電影。某童星7歲參演數(shù)部電影。</p><p>　　刷微博。某少年組合出道時(shí)平均年齡13。5歲。</p><p>　　看電視。16歲少年登上關(guān)注度極高的綜藝節(jié)目舞臺(tái)。</p><p>　　再正常不過(guò)的事情到在我這里就變成了無(wú)窮的負(fù)能量。</p><p>　　嗯，我今年幾歲了？——16。</p><p>　　然后呢？我在干什么？——虛度光陰吧。</p><p>　　有什么技能？——煮泡面算嗎？</p><p>　　我7歲的時(shí)候在干嘛？——和鄰居小孩趴在地上彈玻璃球。</p><p>　　我13歲的時(shí)候在干什么？——上課和同桌下五子棋在教學(xué)樓里到處亂竄。</p><p>　　總結(jié)了一下我這僅有的16年，除了長(zhǎng)高了，其他什么成就都沒(méi)有。</p><p>　　出生的時(shí)候基因決定智商高低、決定你長(zhǎng)的漂亮與否。</p><p>　　混血的孩子普遍長(zhǎng)得漂亮，出生了以后一次性掌握多門語(yǔ)言。爸媽還普遍都挺有錢。</p><p>　　窮山村的孩子十多歲了一說(shuō)話土得掉渣，英語(yǔ)還只會(huì)說(shuō)how are you？</p><p>　　有錢人家的孩子從小用雙C香水。</p><p>　　窮人家的孩子從小用六神，還覺(jué)得洋氣。</p><p>　　有錢人家的孩子在家里撕錢玩。</p><p>　　大山里的窮孩子長(zhǎng)到八歲沒(méi)見過(guò)幾張一百塊錢。</p><p>　　接下來(lái)，我用我紅腫的眼睛迎接了那天的日出。</p><p>　　同樣的16歲，同樣的13歲，同樣的7歲。同樣的年紀(jì)，不同的我們。</p><p>　　我知道這些都是無(wú)法比較的東西，非要比，那也是自找麻煩、自找難堪。</p><p>　　可是，我不甘心。</p><p>　　我們的人生為什么如此不同？憑什么如此不同？</p><p>　　往后的幾天，漫天烏云，抬頭便是昏沉沉的一切。太陽(yáng)不知道躲在了那片烏云背后，天空似乎毫不同情太陽(yáng)的凄慘遭遇，也不愿懲罰烏云對(duì)陽(yáng)光的欺壓，它一滴眼淚也沒(méi)有流。</p><p>　　陰暗的天氣總是給人以不好的心情，我把和爸爸媽媽吵架的原因粗暴的歸結(jié)于此。</p><p>　　我看著爺爺目睹了我無(wú)理取鬧的樣子后不敢相信的表情，我看著爸爸媽媽最終眼里的失望流露。</p><p>　　我明明知道是我自己做的不對(duì)，我明明知道所有問(wèn)題都出于我自己，我卻還是不愿意承認(rèn)。我不愿意承認(rèn)是自己的心態(tài)影響了自己看待事物的角度，我不愿意承認(rèn)是生活中點(diǎn)滴的小事刺痛了我，我不愿意承認(rèn)自己是如此的脆弱又無(wú)理取鬧。</p><p>　　我不愿意承認(rèn)這就是我自己，到最后，我也只是對(duì)自己不滿罷了。</p><p>　　我自己躲在屋里，第一次直面自己，第一次去接受這個(gè)充滿了缺點(diǎn)，卸下了所有偽裝和隱忍的自己。眼淚肆無(wú)忌憚的流下，只有我自己知道，我哭的只是我自己，我哭的只是這個(gè)總是讓人不滿意的自己，我哭的是這個(gè)懦弱的自己。</p><p>　　我可以微笑著躲過(guò)所有人的質(zhì)詢和猜疑，我可以讓所有的問(wèn)題都巧妙的閃過(guò)我最脆弱的那一個(gè)點(diǎn)。可是，我沒(méi)有辦法回避我自己的對(duì)我自己的質(zhì)詢。我知道，我才是最懂我自己的那個(gè)人，我是知道自己所有懦弱所有不堪的那個(gè)人。所以，我才沒(méi)有辦法逃開我自己。</p><p>　　我知道，我需要給我自己一個(gè)答案。</p><p>　　手機(jī)的屏幕又突然亮了起來(lái)，是爺爺打給我的電話。爺爺年紀(jì)很大了，眼睛早也就花了，對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)簡(jiǎn)單的手機(jī)的操作，對(duì)爺爺來(lái)說(shuō)，難度卻很高，撥一次電話出去起碼要嘗試四五次。我停了好久，才接起電話。電話那頭的聲音只有關(guān)心卻沒(méi)有指責(zé)，“在學(xué)校里要自己關(guān)心自己，別指望著所有事都有別人幫你，自己要學(xué)會(huì)處理自己的問(wèn)題�？蘖诉@么久，眼睛也腫了吧，去洗洗臉，用涼水敷一下眼睛。”電話這頭的我，只敢默默答應(yīng)著，我怕我剛一張口眼淚就不允許我再繼續(xù)說(shuō)下去。沒(méi)有多么華麗的語(yǔ)言，僅僅是普通卻真實(shí)的關(guān)心，就已經(jīng)讓我感到滿足。</p><p>　　媽媽默默開門陪我一起坐在冰涼的地板上，把一杯熱茶推向我，茶葉在杯子里飄蕩，騰空的霧氣又一次的帶濕了我的眼眶。媽媽停了好久才開口，“你平時(shí)從來(lái)不會(huì)隨便發(fā)脾氣，我不知道你最近遇到了什么問(wèn)題，但我知道你也一定有你自己的解決方式。如果你不愿意說(shuō)，那就哭出來(lái)吧�！蔽姨痤^，目光剛好落在了媽媽的身上。有些時(shí)候，在外遇到了怎樣的不平，都可以忍著委屈，平淡的繼續(xù)處理下去，可卻經(jīng)常在一些細(xì)小的溫暖上眼淚卻變得放肆。此刻，就是這樣的溫暖牽出了我的淚。</p><p>　　他們愛(ài)我，我似乎很久之前就知道了這一點(diǎn)，但這一刻我好像回顧了之前時(shí)光中的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴，然后又重新明白了這份愛(ài)的重量。</p><p>　　后來(lái)的后來(lái)，我在爺爺每天的電話中，在媽媽的那杯熱茶中，在手機(jī)屏幕上小伙伴們閃著的問(wèn)候中，找到了我想給我自己的答案。</p><p>　　的確，我們的人生各不相同，可是我們的人生本來(lái)就不具有可比性。是的，有些人一出生就身纏萬(wàn)貫有些人奮斗一生也沒(méi)有多少積蓄。是的，命運(yùn)是不公的，可我們應(yīng)該慶幸的是我們沒(méi)能擁有最好的，也沒(méi)有失去所有。我們至少知道自己在累了的時(shí)候有一個(gè)地方可以依靠，我們至少明白晚歸途中總有一盞等待著的燈，是給你的。</p><p>　　的確，在這個(gè)越來(lái)越大的城市里，在這個(gè)摸不清模樣的社會(huì)中，我們會(huì)受到打擊，我們會(huì)失落，我們會(huì)彷徨，我們會(huì)無(wú)奈，但我們不能認(rèn)輸。我可以接受失敗但我不可以接受遺憾，不可以接受不去嘗試就認(rèn)定自己的未來(lái)無(wú)望。我們能做的似乎很少，可這所有的很少的一切，都會(huì)成為你日后成功的砝碼�；蛟S在未來(lái)，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，曾經(jīng)那看似細(xì)微的掙扎都不可或缺。</p><p>　　未來(lái)，我們可能會(huì)遭遇絕境，我們身邊的一切似乎都無(wú)法幫助你。但是，不論是未來(lái)還是現(xiàn)在，都不要放棄，就像格蘭芬多的寶劍，就像哈利第一次得到那個(gè)金色飛賊，他會(huì)在最后的戰(zhàn)斗中從破破爛爛的分院帽中出現(xiàn)，他會(huì)在你親吻他時(shí)，告訴你我會(huì)在結(jié)局打開，他會(huì)告訴你，格蘭芬多的勇氣就是你的劍，你的勇氣和你的無(wú)所畏懼會(huì)幫你找到你的未來(lái)。</p><p>　　這是我給自己的承諾，是我給自己的交代，是我給自己的答案。</p><script>s("content_relate");</script><p>【答自己?jiǎn)柛叨䲠⑹伦魑摹肯嚓P(guān)文章：</p><p><a 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