你可以跌倒，但請記得怎么站起來(2)

　　5. Stop comparing ourself to others. We’re on a unique path

　　不要和別人比較，我們都是獨一無二的

　　A sure fire, 100% guaranteed way to get discouraged is to focus onother people in a comparative way. Here is why: we generally see theirvictories, successes, and strengths. We see what they have and what we don’t. We see why they are better than us. When wedo this we get discouraged and we feel sorry for ourselves. We don’t as easily see their struggles, their fears,their setbacks, and their failures.

　　毫無疑問，一直把自己和別人比較絕對會讓我們低落。為什么呢：我們往往看到的都是他們的成果、成功和優(yōu)點。我們看到的是他們有我們卻沒有的部分，我們看到的是為什么他們比我們優(yōu)秀。一旦這樣，我們就很容易感到失望為自己感到難受。同時，我們很少去關注他們的掙扎、害怕，挫折和失敗。

　　So don’t do it. It isn’t empowering. Don’t compare. We are on a unique path. It is great to be inspired byanother, but if by hearing another’sstory, we feel that we are lesser, then we need to just focus on our own path.

　　所以不要這樣了，這只會讓你更加泄氣。不要比較，我們都是獨一無二的存在著。讓別人去激勵你固然好，但如果別人的故事讓你覺得自身有所不足，那么只需要專注自己就好了。

　　6. Detach from rewards, focus on our actions and giving our bestwork

　　忘掉所謂的獎賞，專注于行動，付出最大的努力

　　If our sole motivation for doing something is the reward that wemight get from the action, then we are setting ourselves up for discouragement.Action should be its own reward. When it is, we are forever free. Freedom is atthe heart of happiness. When we don’tneed someone else’s praise for doingsomething, when we don’t need a “carrot”for performing our work, then we are truly free to just focus on our work andmake it great. When we create great work we are happy.

　　如果我們做某件事唯一的動力在于可能會獲得的獎賞，那么我們就不知覺走上了一條失望之路。行為本身就值得被獎賞。這樣一來，我們永遠都是“自由之身”，自由是幸福的核心。如果在做一件事時不需要別人的褒獎，也不需要對工作肯定的獎勵，那么我們就真的能夠?qū)Ｗ⒂诠ぷ髯龅阶詈�。一旦取得進步會非常開心。

　　7. Change our “rules” for being happy

　　改變自己的“規(guī)定”獲得幸福

　　What rule do we have to be happy? What has to happen for us to feelsuccessful? Is it in our control? If it isn’t then we might be setting ourselves up for failure. By rules I meanthe set of circumstances that must be present for us to feel accomplished.

　　什么時候會感到幸福?發(fā)生什么樣的事情會讓我們覺得成功?這在我們的掌控之中么?如果不是，那我們也許就把自己推向了失敗的不歸路。所謂的規(guī)定，我指的是一些必須能讓我們感到成功的特定場景。

　　We have to create rules that serve us. We have to live by rules thatare within our control. Here are some of my rules: I am successful when I growand improve. I am successful when I give my very best.

　　我們需要為自己制造規(guī)定，我們需要遵循這些可以由自己掌控的規(guī)則。比如我的規(guī)則是：只要我成長進步就是成功，只要我付出努力就是成功。

　　8. Consider who we are spending time with

　　想想我們該花時間和誰在一起

　　The people who we spend the most time with might be a majorcontributing factor to feeling discouragement. This can be a very hard one,especially if those people are family and loved ones. We have a tendency tobecome who we most frequently associate with, and if we spend all our time withpeople who are constantly negative, and feeling sorry for themselves, we can beinfluenced to see life through a similar lens.

　　和我們相處最久的那些人也許是帶來沮喪的最大因素。這聽起來不大舒服，尤其是他們會是家人或愛人。我們總會不知覺的變成身邊最親近人的樣子，如果我們一直和消極的人在一起，為他們感到難過，我們也會被影響和他們一樣去看待生活。

　　So what can we do? We can’tsimply cut loved ones out of our lives. So what we should do is simply expandour social network. Join a peer group that is positive. Start to surroundourselves with positive people as a balance. Over time we will start to take ontheir mindset and this will help with any feelings of discouragement we mayhave.

　　那該怎么辦呢?我們不能簡單的把愛人排除在生活之外。所以能做的就是擴大自己的社交圈。加入積極的同齡人小組。讓周圍充滿了正能量的人作為平衡。不知不覺我們就會吸取這些正能量，也能幫助我們減少沮喪感。

　　9. Get outside, move and breathe

　　出去活動一下，呼吸新鮮空氣

　　Fresh air and sunshine can have an amazing effect on our feelings.Sometimes when we are feeling down, all that we need to do is simply to gooutside and breathe. Movement and exercise is also a fantastic way to feelbetter. Positive emotions can be generated by motion. So if we start to feeldown, take some deep breathes, go outside, feel the fresh air, let the sun hitour face, go for a hike, a walk, a bike ride, a swim, a run, whatever. We willfeel better if we do this.

　　新鮮空氣和陽光真的能給我們帶來不一樣的感受。當我們覺得沮喪時，只需要簡單的走出去呼吸新鮮空氣。運動鍛煉能讓心情變好，好的心情能帶來更多積極的情緒。如果我們覺得低落，那么就深呼吸，去郊外看看，感受新鮮的空氣，享受陽光的沐浴、遠足、散步、騎車或是游泳跑步，什么都可以。只有這樣做絕對會很開心。

　　10. Talk to our mentor

　　和導師對話

　　Our mentor can be a great source of wisdom when we are feeling down.So when discouragement rears its ugly head, go have a coffee with our mentor.They will be able to give us wisdom based on experience. In many cases theywill also give us tough love and help us to snap out of it if we are feelingsorry for ourselves. They will also help us to make a specific plan of actionto work our way out of discouragement.

　　在沮喪時，導師是我們最大的智慧之源。所以當失落感悄然到來，跟導師一起喝杯咖啡吧。他們能夠根據(jù)自己的經(jīng)驗給我們一些智慧提示。很多時候，他們給予我們的愛和關懷能幫助我們走出自卑，也會幫我們制定詳細的計劃來走出沮喪。

　　11. Go find someone who we can help

　　去找那些需要我們幫助的人

　　This is a great way to alleviate discouragement. Go find someone whoneeds help, and then help them. It is really that simple. When we serve others,when we go out of our way to help other people in need, we feel better. It isimpossible to be discouraged when we are giving all our efforts on behalf ofanother. Discouragement is a really a self-driven symptom. We are focusing onourselves. That is why we feel bad. However, when we stop thinking aboutourselves, and when we direct our attention to another, we feel better.

　　這是減少沮喪最好的方式。找那些需要幫助的人，然后幫助他們吧。這真的非常簡單。在服務別人的時候，在幫助那些需要幫助的人時，我們也會開心。當全身心的幫助他人，從他人角度想問題時，沮喪也就不復存在了。沮喪是一個內(nèi)化的情感，當我們只關注自己時才會有如此糟糕的感覺。然而當我們停止考慮自己，開始轉(zhuǎn)向幫助別人的時候，一切都好起來了。

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